Emotional for my cold steel heart
The ice is crackling under my feet. The sun facing my cheeks. The wind swirling my golden hair. And I close my eyes, inhaling the crisp air with a determined force. Dilating my lungs. Expanding my chest. Bending my shoulders back. Pulling my chin up. And exhaling my words
I have been here before. I have felt this moment before. The radiation of peace from my central core. The pleased feeling in this instant. Growing into the shared mother nature where we all are connected.
I am home
Are you scared babe?
Are you scared babe? Your voice is harsh, almost commanding me between your lips formed in a contempt smile. Chuckling briefly. My vision is blurred, resting on your feet. Feeling how you lift your hand in the peripheri, heading against my face. I close my eyes.
Like an electric shock you stroke my cheek, following the contours of my face. I keep my eyes closed. Hearing my heartbeat in my ears. Breathing like a marathon runner.
Are you scared? You ask again.
I fill my lungs with a deep breath which feels like eternity. Sliding up my eyelids. Facing his glance. Penetrating his iris with my hunter eyes.
Am I scared? I ask him intrusively. Stepping way too close which makes him take one step backwards with wandering eyes.
No. Nothing frightens me. I'm a lion.
it's the chapel of love
It's written in the smoke
I promise with my heart
Det finns ingenting här
Society. Where did it go.
Society. Where did it go. Where did it go lost. This world we have built, like an ego-burning pyramid. Where me and you, we stand there in the shallow water. With our legs sinking in the mud. Let us carry you. Let us change this, you and me together. The words are echoing but never landing. Who do we carry? Why do we build a planet on money. A shiny paper with colours and debt. Not depth. The profoundness we lost in the shallow paper. But the pyramid we built. On higher grounds.
I'm living on the edge of love and anger. Crawling back for pollutioned air. Swimming in brown wasted water. Can you see me, I whisper? Maybe my words aren't made of money and power. Maybe my being isn't perfect and loveble. Or maybe it's you, not being able to love what's beyond yourself.
we are strong in the crystallized forest
Flashing. I'm there alone under the tree. The silence embracing me, wrapping me up like a kid. You could be a wolf I say and look into your eyes. There were always a strength in your eyes. A strength of an older brother taking care of it's younger siblings. A strength I could trust.
I stroke your fur and told myself we can do this alone. We don't need no saving. We don't need no speaking. We don't need no help. We are strong in the crystallized forest.
It all changed. Your steps ceased. Your hind legs became paralyzed. I became paralyzed. My heart became paralyzed. We all sank to the bottom of the deep ocean. And never found surface.
Death is so hilarious
Actually it is. Could it be more fun? Griefing in 15 years. Crying at the thought of you. Ah the pain. The pain couldn't be more fun to look at from this distance. Because my body makes it self. How could that even happen. But does it even matter How, or why. No. It doesn't matter anymore. It's time to let it go.
I did wake up, but did I regret it
When you stop being cared but it still hurts and you want to let it go. Go away. Move. Fly away in the sky just like the birds.
Pretending I know how to move my wings. Fluttering quickly like a hummingbird. Glancing down -loosing my balance and presence. Breathing shallow in my upper lungs. Prepared to sink down like a bird shot in the head. Prepared to die.
so separated but still one
Isn't that what you do for the ones you love. It's a balance. It's give and take. It's a part of the process where you don't give your ego full access. It's a drive where love makes you do things which makes you grow out from your old shoes.
It's like a tree you nurture, take in and give out energies from the other. You breath together like One. Together we are whole.
there is another earth where I belong
It's speechless. Silent. In surround system. My being is on the highest vibration, constant flowing around. There are words I can't express. Write or speak.
There is love I can't tell. Love that flows in this heart of mine. All without it's soul. Silent. Secretly.
Is it painful? In vain. Does it last longer than my sight or is it mist along the hillside. Does my heart make assumptions to make this whole. Does my heart make science fiction to make us coexist. Lasting but loving in a different level where words can't evolve.
A level of submission and admission where marks and bruises won't be seen. Where wounds are love and love are ecstasy. Up and down like the hills in the sunrise. The beauty of it all.