the stars are shining through the shadows in the dark.








I'm dodging for the snowcovered branches. Bouncing from side to side over the rivulet. Looking at the red energy surrounding your beating heart. Turning around and sees that you're almost even with me. Laughing and runs like a deer with long legs over the ice. Sliding and giggling like a kid on christmas every time I'm almost falling. Come on, let's make the stars jealous I'm screaming and starts to run against the magical unknown.



did universe give you a sensational anger.







I'm catching your sight. Looking deeply into your soul. Sensing your anger. You're effecting me at once. My whole being sinks to the ground and I'm ready to beg you on my knees. I'm feeling helpless. Squeezing the sand in my hands. Facing the ground with tears dripping down.

You're walking by. Stepping over my soul. It feels like a punch in my belly and I'm losing my breath. My muscular is cramping until I'm losing reality. Whether its day or night. Cold or hot. Living or dying.


Tracking Treasure Down. I know this will be something.










I'm pulling the match quickly on the side of the matchbox. Looking how the splinter burst up in a beautiful flame which I'm leading against the wick. I'm laying down, looking at the fire of the three candles swaying in the morning-air. Feeling how the hair-covered eyes of my marvelous dog are peeking at me. I'm glancing at him and his whole being smiles in a second. I can see how happy this creature is. He can barely stand 'cause he is waving the tail so much.

I'm bursting out in laugh while feeling the love of the universe surrounding me. Cuddling down in this cosy feeling of happiness. I'm on the right track in life now, it's sometimes painful but it's beautiful 'cause I'm allowing to feel what I used to suffocate with other things. I'm tracking magic.





when you don't dare telling the real truth








You're shutting down the tv. Saying my name with that serious voice. My heart is hurtling. The beat is now twice as fast. I'm swallowing. Gazing at the silent screen. Counting the seconds. Please don't. Just don't.

I'm....sorry...for not being there, protecting you....during those times.....but. Your words are pounding inside of me. I'm remaining silent but my body is screaming of pain. Flashbacks are overflowing me like tsunamis. I'm tightening my fists. Trying to breath. Please don't bring it up.

I'm looking down on myself like I'm dead in heaven. Seeing myself laying there on the ground. Wounded. Beaten. Bruised. Crying. And you're walking by. Closing your eyes, 'cause you don't wanna see.



not to spoil the ending for you, but everything's going to be okey.






I'm turning around. Watching the branches of the trees swaying in the wind. Listening to the creaking sound from the old spruce. Letting my hair tickle in my face. Turning my head down, gazing at the green grass.... There's a reason why I'm here, exactly in this place, in this present moment. There's a reason. I'm not hiding, I'm making myself prepared.


flying south just like the free birds






Everytime your small wings have led you inside. Everytime your frightened fluttering have woken me up I've felt The longing. The desire how holding your pulsating being. Feeling your heart clattering like the rain on the windowpanes. Being a part of the wild.



I'm not with the flowers, I am the flowers.





Letting the grass tickle under my feet. Spinning around in a circle, waving with my arms like the waves in the stormy ocean. Huddling the blond curls from my face. Touching the sky with my admiring eyes. Smiling like the sun.


Death is only a chapter, so lets rip out the pages of yesterday.






'Cause it's inside the core. You can't touch the secrets if you don't dig through the flesh. You can't feel the gain if you don't open the wounds and hauling the dirt out. You can't speed up the truth by stucking it in. 'Cause it will oozing out. Day by day. Just like the the bloddy wound.



'cause it gave my heart colours.






Where did you go. Where did my life go. Why did we have to go. Our world was beautiful. So much sparkling stars surrounding us. So much wonderful faces. So much fellowship. So much love.

My chest is shaking. My heart is screaming. My eyes are bleeding. The emotion is catching me from fingers to toes. Nerves. Veins. Molecules. Atoms.

The dog is watching me. Feeling my pain. Coming to lay his head in my lap. I'm squeezing his fur hard while I'm closing my tearful eyes, howling. We were like a family. Why did we have to go. Leaving the love. Our love.




sailing in the boat on the big ocean






You're dead. I'm repeating the sentence over and over again. You're dead. You're dead.

My heartbeat is rising more and more for every time I'm saying it. My throat is getting more and more swollen. My voice is getting weaker and weaker. It feels like I'm gonna suffocate.

Say it girl. Say it. Say the truth. What's the fucking truth. Spit the fucking truth out.

My eyes are wandering back and forth in the room. My heart is pounding like a shot-gun. My breath is audible. Tell me the truth. Tell me the fucking truth. I'm crawling in pain. Twisting my head in sync with my breath. Vomiting from every pore in my body. Shaking like a leaf. Drowning in myself.


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